A while back I received a small piece of junk mail that confirms some of my thoughts about how profitability drives business behavior.

The item arrived in an envelope with stripes reminiscent of air mail envelopes.

Inside there was a letter with a header designed to resemble a vehicle registration certificate.

Here’s a genuine certificate for comparison.

The letter referred to a sales event at Toyota of Nicholasville. It included this promise: “You are guaranteed to receive 1 of the following 5 gifts: A Royal Caribbean Cruise, Online Shopping Spree Certificate, $500 grocery coupon, $20 for gas or $5 cash.” An enclosed scratch-off card said, “Scratch and Match Two to Determine Gift.”

My card contained two shopping cart icons, indicating that I had won the online shopping spree.

On the back of the card, in small print, some significant details were revealed. Out of 10,000 cards issued, winning cards were distributed with the following frequency:

Royal Caribbean cruise: 1
Online shopping spree: 9,996
$500 grocery coupon: 1
$20 gas rebate: 1
$5 cash: 1

The online shopping spree is illegal in five states. Merchandise may be purchased only through a specified web site. As far as I can tell, that site sells only cheap junk at inflated prices.

Is all this illegal? Maybe. Deceptive? Absolutely. Reprehensible? Yes, and malicious, disgusting, pathetic. An ordinary and customary business practice? Probably.

To be sure, there are plenty of companies around that are worthy of admiration. Most of the small software development shops I’ve dealt with, and of course Apple Inc., come to mind. But I can’t help thinking that when government stops protecting its people from the excesses of unprincipled businesses, predatory instincts flourish. Somewhere, a businessman looked at that deceptive consumer mailing, and instead of thinking, “This is disgusting!” decided that it was good idea.

In law, “person” includes both humans and corporations. A human is a “natural person.” If the corporation that sent me the junk mail is therefore unnatural, then I guess its utter lack of conscience and shame comes as no surprise.