Ross Carter

Playwright and novelist

Performance rights Contact

Henry, a likable young fellow, meets June, a likable young lady, at a quaint old New England inn. The attraction is instant and mutual. That is, until a body is discovered.

Henry, it turns out, is president of the Sherlock Holmes Detective Society. June is president of the Agatha Christie Detection Club. Romance fades as the young sleuths leap into action, each determined to solve the mystery while humiliating the other.

Trouble is, the murders keep happening. And there’s no way to call for help.

Don’t Tell Me Who Done It has roles for 5 men and 5 women. There is one interior set, the library of that quaint old New England Inn. The time is the present, and there are no special costume needs. The script is 134 pages, and the two acts can be played in a little under two hours.

Wouldn’t you like to take a moment now and read the first 15 pages?

If you would like a full script for perusal, or you wish to inquire about performance rights and royalties, email playwright at rosscarter.com.

Here is a bit of sample dialogue. The cook has just been found dead in the freezer.

HENRY Inspector Horton, did you verify that the victim is dead?

HORTON No. Why should I do that? I got the hell out of there.

HENRY But you're a police inspector!

HORTON Who told you that?

JUNE Well we naturally assumed that--

HORTON I'm a building inspector.

JUNE Oh.

HORTON If you want me to verify that the plumbing is up to code, I can do that.

JUNE I don't think that will be necessary.

HENRY Doctor Ainsley, did you verify that the cook is dead?

AINSLEY Heavens no.

HENRY Well, don't you think that's a good idea?

AINSLEY I suppose so.

HENRY Would you please go check the body and make sure that the cook is dead?

AINSLEY Are you nuts? I'm not going back in there.

JUNE You are a doctor, aren't you? I mean a real doctor? Medical school?

AINSLEY Of course I went to medical school. But I don't go poking around on dead bodies. Sheesh.

HENRY Well I'm afraid you have to now. Please go examine the body.

AINSLEY Well if I have to.

AINSLEY and CARL exit into dining room.

CLIFF The phone is dead!

MILLICENT First the cook, now the phone!